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Paranoid, Miserable and Awake | A collection

May 22, 2015 Clayton Luce Featured content, Poetry 0

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Yes, I am paranoid, occasionally miserable and very much awake. You see, I see the writing on the wall, I see the magic in the world, and if you don’t have a certain amount of paranoia you clearly don’t know what the fuck is going on. I’m NOT suggesting we operate under fear, I’m suggesting that in world where the unseen controls the seen, you should have a certain amount of concern, awareness and YES, paranoia.

 

The misery of Fukushima in my kitchen, fracking and poison in my water, GMO’s, HMO’s, police brutality, the innocent jailed, children in prison for life, I’m getting depressed just making this list…

But with certainty I know this…LOVE.

 

Love is all that matters. Someone to hold you late at night, someone to kiss your wounds when you ache from the stresses of life, someone to pray for you and to send you loving vibrations, these things are of true value. Not the meaningless paper that buys us our pleasures, because it’s not the money we want. It’s what the money buys that we desire. So now, when I see sad, angry people, with the inability to stop and listen, hurrying along I don’t get angry. I know you’re just operating based on your level on consciousness, just like me. We’re all here just trying to make it and find some joy, purpose and hopefully a lot of love along the way.

The greatest lesson I have learned to date is the following: Take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

 

It’s so easy to identify the shit in people. But the sobering reality is that we so easily identify with it, because it either resided in us or currently resides inside. I hate that fucking truth, but that truth keeps me grounded, it keeps me patient and loving and keeps me from losing my god-damned mind.

 

I constantly keep this in mind as I navigate the world…So, just know if you ever run into a 5 foot woman, wearing dreads, with a baby strapped to her back and 3 more in tow, looking disheveled, know I’m just trying my best to navigate a world that despises me and that shit ain’t easy, but I’m working through my shit, I’ll help you if I can. I’ll give you bed to rest, a good meal to eat, and hell, I’ll party hard with you. But I won’t ever apologize for being me, for answering honestly. I’ll apologize for the hurt I’ve caused, because gosh darnit I want forgiveness from the Great Magnet, GOD, whatever you call him and just in case I’m being judged by works right now, I need to be able to face that shit straight on. You either love me or you hate me…Either way, the only thing that really matters is LOVE and of course having toilet and running water…Shit everywhere is never good

 

Love and Light

I love my cabin

 

I love my cabin

Though soon I bid her farewell

She has been my safe place

My hiding space

My rainy mountain

My naked sunbathing days

My naked moon-bathing nights

My mycology heaven

A place where crickets sing

Baby foxes run amuck

My kids play carefree

I leave my keys and purse in the car

My door unlocked

My windows open

The yard and the trees

The hike up the driveway

The revelation of the woods

Mountain laurel, honey suckles, black berries and scuppernongs

A magical place, where bark swirls, and I feel everything

Stars

Sunshine

The breeze

The air, the clean air

I will miss you

Your magic, your scent, my cabin in the woods

 

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  • grunge
  • jaslyn beck
  • live
  • love
  • miserable
  • paranoid
  • poems
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