by Ron Whitehead
i’m going straight bought myself a flat top
haircut so stiff I can carry a tray of martinis
waiting on people someone to open up her
purse and give me a tip cause i don’t have
a clue anymore as to what’s going on but
i do know that i’m one step ahead tapping
my own phone to hear myself talking with
people who used to be my friends listening
so i can correct myself before they do and
i’ve got a surveillance camera in my abandoned
car across the street watching myself replaying
the tape so i can see if i’m acting funny before
they catch me doing something i shouldn’t
like yesterday i spotted myself walking too
fast and i heard myself talking too loud yes
i’ve got the deep fear paranoia anxiety despair
and suicide blues but i’m making sure i don’t
do nothing else wrong cause i done screwed
up so many times i cornered myself into a
backstreet dead end alley of paranoia and every
time i hear an airplane or helicopter or car
door slam i know the secret service the fbi
and the irs swat teams have finally arrived
cause i published a poem by the president of
the united states of america without his
fully conscious permission and i’m sure i
haven’t paid enough taxes cause i’ve got no
income yet somehow i keep on doing things
like eating every once in a while and paying
a light bill or two but how do i do it they’re
gonna ask what’s the source of your income
and how come you don’t come to see us
anymore so yes i’ve become a little jumpy
but i’m staying one step ahead tapping my
own phone videotaping my every move
watching myself day and night replaying
the tapes cause i got a bad bad bad case
of the deep fear paranoia anxiety despair
and suicide blues
copyright (c) 1994 & 2014 ron whitehead