Jaslyn

Jaslyn

Lifestyle Editor/Poet
http://gonzotoday.com

I simply want to offer a different perspective through story telling. ****Immersion and Detachment****
Mother, gardener, amateur herbalist and wearer of the resting bitch face. I love mushroom hunting and watching a damn good documentary. In my spare time I, WHAT spare time???
I’m a scartled writer, simply trying to make sense of it all…My head hurts…I leave you with this. Don’t allow shrouds to obscure the mind.

Good Morning Americana

Good Morning Americana,

It’s 50 degrees outside, the sun is just barely shining through the dense clouds and we woke up late.

Extremely late.

Consequently I had to take my daughter to school this morning. Half asleep, mongering around my house, trying not trip over a toy, or bowl of milk my husband left on the floor while watching some awful horribleness. Continue reading

Memoirs of an Internet Whore

“Crotch Rot”

 

She was walking down the shit steam block, when it hit her.

Crotch rot.

Itchy, burning, awful, wet and rawness that spreads like an awful oily sebaceous cyst that will not go away with a bit of peanut butter.

Why, you ask?

Well, because much like breathing, us humans must walk; hence crotch-rot, an inevitable evil that infects the pubic area and thighs.

Throbbing and reddening,

There is no relief, it’s infectious and only the complete determination to stop walking and sit will provide healing and escape.

So, if you find yourself, burning and feeling raw, don’t think about the last person or animal you may have fucked.

Instead, are you walking?

Ah, yes…It is crotch rot.

She visits in the heat of day, in camel toe jeans, and sagging britches. She comes to steal your peace, your joy, and brings the inevitable stop, sit, and lazily walk with pride.

Stride your ass home to chair, remove your pants and examine the raw, red, stinging area.

Cream it, air it, and let it be.

It yells procrastination; it has broken your will, so submit to the rash.

Let its will overcome you and rest my love, rest. Heal for she will return and next time be armed with baby powder. Continue reading