Film Review – Gonzo: the Life & Work of Hunter S. Thompson

by Deanna Williams Pennell

Just finished watching Gonzo on Netflix. It was amazing. I don’t advocate suicide, because in the end you are hurting those around you. Those who need you (which can also put one under pressure). But I do believe Hunter would be even more miserable now. He was always about the under dog, the anti-hero, and the ugly truth. I feel a resonance with him, not to sound pretentious, but I know that feeling of wanting so badly to overcome, but ultimately knowing (in my heart and mind) I am set to fail….no matter how I try. Perhaps pulling the trigger on that .44 was his last chance at trying to grasp for control and victory, in a life full of joy met with the bitter taste of defeat. Where ever he is now, I hope he knows that his search for what his heart could never truly find is still alive and well in some of us…and maybe he can drink to that.

I search for contentment. I have hope for fighting the good fight. Always speaking my mind and standing up for what is right, which has got me in trouble more times than I can count. But I would and will do/say it all again. Still can’t shake that sense of defeat, as I feel the sheep and swine outnumber us. I often find myself in such a mind fuck wondering if there is hope left for those of us out there trying to survive, a wretched way to exist no question, but alas our fate in these times, when the powers that be buy/sell/kill our dream. A constant brawl in my mind for the need of victory and freedom from the bondage of only surviving, yet that nagging sense of defeat that fucks with you at the same time. I can only get up everyday, and raise my children, trying to help them to see the truth, and past the distractions and bullshit of the capitalistic pig sty we inhabit, I will continue to SEARCH/ DREAM/ HOPE and TRY to enlighten those around me, and hope the future holds something better than this death of the American dream…i still hold to my convictions that one day contentment will come, and hope its not under 6 feet of dirt. Hunter had strong drink, etc to numb his struggle, until he decided to free himself…I’ll take the jagged pill, maintain, and keep going…these fucking pigs will not trample me completely.

May the angst guide us…its all some of us have….well that sex, drugs, and guns…”he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man”

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