Goat Scrote of the Month – President Donald J. Trump
The honor of being Gonzo Today’s very first “Goat Scrote of the Month” goes to none other than the master of manipulation to those with an IQ equivalent to their dick size and much less than the diameter of their assholes, the always provocative man of a thousand felonies, President Donald J. Trump.
Trump hasn’t been in office for quite a year yet, though he has been a busy little Führer…. I mean felon. From the moment he walked into the office, Trump was destroying our political system. Here are just a few of his greatest hits:
- Ending Radical and Wasteful Government DEI Programs and Preferencing
- Allowing Elon Musk to head DOGE to allegedly take out some of his competition.
- Tariffs. Does anybody remember President Hoover?
- Establishing ICE while giving them what seems to be an unlimited amount of freedoms to break our constitutional laws.
- Doing away with Roe v Wade.
- Appointing Bobby Kennedy Jr and his brain worm to Secretary of Health and Human Services.
- Kash Patel & ESPECIALLY Pete Hegseth, seriously, a television news anchor to the Secretary of Defense. I’ve seen more brains in a red baboon’s ass while it masturbates to a crowd of people at the zoo. Something Trump may or may not have done while owning the beauty pageants.
His attack on cities with ICE and military by calling places like Portland and Washington DC “burning hellholes,” “war-ravaged,” and “war zones.” They weren’t war zones until he sent the military in. They still aren’t.
Protester’s 1st Amendment rights were being violated by ICE and other officers. And still are violating every day. Anybody catch the Catholic Priest getting shot in the head by an ICE agent with a pepper ball gun?
Trump’s whole presidency is coming off like a bad sequel to 1984 starring Kevin Sorbo.
One of my favorite examples of Trump’s stubby middle-finger came with a huge, debaucherous, self-indulgent Roaring 20’s Gatsby Halloween party. Trump did this while the government was shut down and forty-two million people, including military personnel, were losing their benefits. No SNAP benefits, no paychecks for the military that Trump supposedly loves so much.
The slogan for the party was even better, “A little party never killed nobody.” We know Trump isn’t educated enough to come up with that himself, but he isn’t stupid enough to not understand the meaning. There is no way he read “The Great Gatsby,” not with his rumored 5th grade reading level and comprehension.
This was so blatant while the people were losing their benefits that I can only hope that his team came up with that and are working as double agents to make him look worse to the public.
We now have the fabled unicorn that is The Epstein Files. Trump didn’t do this out of the goodness of his own heart. He was quite content keeping those concealed. We know this for a fact. He was backed into a jagged corner. Especially when the emails surfaced that The Don may have blown Bubba.
That kinda sounds like a country song:
Donny blew Bubba… last night.
Deep throatin’ a Democrat, ALRIGHT!
It only took a look and a rail of cocaine,
And a little push from their buddy… EPSTEIN!
I know at least some of you tried to sing those lyrics in your head. Remember, with a little country twang and some stank on the word “Epstein,” it sounds a little more like “Epstain.” Like the stain that was probably left on the floor and Trump’s tie. Trump wouldn’t be a giving enough lover to swallow. All caps represents a crowd yelling at a concert.
You’re welcome for the direction.
It is a shame I can’t fit every slimy corrupt executive order he has pushed through the backdoor (insert your own Bill Clinton joke here because we all know it didn’t stop with a blowy, it never does).
Kudos to Trump though. Really. Not many men in this world could ever say that they felt like an untouchable king, even if it is destined to be short lived, much like a Venezuelan boat suspected of drug smuggling.
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