Men’s entertainment turns PG-13 – Bye, Bye, Playboy

Or: Internet Killed The Booby Magazine

by Mark Linnhoefer

Playboy. The word alone conjures up mental images of beautiful women posing nude for a cameraman that has a ‘hard time’ controlling has raging hard-on.

But alas, it seems that those time are over. “That battle has been fought and won” says Playboy chief executive Scott Flanders. What he’s referring to is the astonishingly devastating fact that no more nude pictures will be featured in Hugh Hefner’s magazine – a decision which was heavily influenced by the fact that, according to Flanders, the average person is “one click away from every sex act imaginable for free.”

According to the company this sudden shift has not impaired reader numbers as can be seen on the website that has been nudity-free since the beginning of 2015.

The news sans nudity measure has apparently also lessened the average reader age from a late forty to an early thirty and, as many people are interested in the “humor” and “culture” according to Playboy, there should be no sudden drop in readership. But, much to everyone’s surprise, the number of readers of the magazine has dropped to a sobering 800,000, an amount which is tantamount to drops of water on a hot stove for a multinational publishing powerhouse like Playboy.

This reporter honestly does not comprehend the company’s decision in the least.

The great appeal about Playboy was the nudity no matter how many embarrassed husbands, boyfriends and sons may claim to read it ‘just for the articles’. Why the sudden moral epiphany? Why not compete with the damned internet and still provide the good well-known feeling of looking at naked women in a magazine with a bunny logo on it instead of being fucking cowards and trying to go all PC on us by banning the nudity?

This reporter thinks that booby magazines may yet experience a comeback – the oversexualized stimuli of the internet make many a masturbator miss the good ol’ days of tilting your head to get a good look at Ms. December’s naked breasts while ejaculating.

R.I.P. Playboy as we knew it, you will be dearly missed.