Joe Siess


Album Review: Glitoris’ The Disgrace EP


by: Joe Siess


Band: Glitoris

Album: The Disgrace EP

Label: Buttercup Records

Rating: 3.8/5


Before I’d call Glitoris a “band”, I’d call them a phenomena. Their newest single, “Trump Card”, is a kind of a rattling, vengeful, darkly humorous mockery against a shriveling patriarchy, but with a ball busting punk rock twist that makes you want to fuck shit up.

The sheer “audacity” contained in the lyrics, and the symbolism on the video, which can be found on YouTube, is enough to shrivel even the tiniest sorry excuse for a pair of balls dangling between the sad, alienated groins of the most hardened misogynists.

This is not the music for individuals with an kind of warped notion about the importance of their stinking, impotent, phlacid dongs, but might I digress.

It’s true. If you hate women or think it’s ok to “grab pussy” now that the president of the United State is a searing pus filled blister of a degenerate swine, then you should stay away from these girls. Far away. Yes. Glitoris is not for you.

They are outrageous, and as far as I am concerned, are a necessary musical reaction to the bitter backlash of a particularly rabid brand of global sexism and misogyny embodied in Trump’s noisome election.

Anyway, the song is of course an explicit mockery aimed at Donald, but it’s more than just that. Glitoris as a kind of phenomenon is essentially a middle finger to a set of societal norms. Their message however is rather “asexual”. Despite shunting away the societal restrictions placed on women, Glitoris’ music embodies a call to normalize the human body, both male and female. In that sense the music is about a gender equality.

Aside from all that, the girls look like they could be straight out of a punk rock video from the early 90’s. The old school effects on the video and in the sound itself evokes a potent nostalgia. Memories of watching MTV on my parent’s couch after school pop into my head. It’s all rather lovely. But their sound and politically charged message is undoubtedly modern.

And I’ve got a hunch that that’s what they might be going for. Then again I know very little about punk rock aside from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who despite their greatness, aren’t exactly “punk rock”.

But as far as Glitoris goes, the music is damn good. They’ve almost got like this female version of the Clash thing going on. And I love the Clash. But hypothetically speaking, Glitoris is what you get if the Clash were abducted off some dark smokey stage in a seedy part of London, castrated and sent to a penal colony in Australia for lude and licentious behavior ho ho.

When it boils down to the beating core of it all, the video for “Trump Card” is frightening, sexy and hilarious all at the same time. In that regard, I really like Glitoris, and I think their unique style and outspoken manner in how they communicate through their music is exactly what we need these days.

Something outrageous and provocative to give a solid jolt to bigots and misogynists all over the world. A thrashing, bucking tornado of pure musical force that threatens to upend everything you ever assumed about the way we think about gender norms. In a lot of ways their music is what I guess I’d call… post-establishment. It adheres to nothing, but says everything on its raunchy mind. Just like Donald Trump.

The difference between Donald Trump and Glitoris is that while Donald is currently dealing with forces he will never understand, Glitoris taps into it all and shoves it so far up Donald’s ass that it’s just a matter of time before the rubes and their cracked messiah stand in bewilderment.

Raggy Monster Album Review


By: Joe Siess

So, because I am tasked with reviewing Raggy Monster’s newest album, As the Thorn Lures the Widow’s Lip, It Seeks No Wisdom from the Wicker Flies, here’s my raw first reaction.

The first thing that came to my mind while I was listening to Raggy Monster play Fool’s Gold live in Miami on Balcony TV, was that Rachel’s voice vaguely reminds me of Nancy Wilson, the lead singer of Heart. And I love Heart. But don’t get me wrong, she totally possesses her own voice.

Rachel’s manic witch doctor persona gives here an edge I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Wrathful yet creative. Casting riddled incantations from the stage. Powerfully feminine, like a “Yellow Woman” rattling and channeling some kind of ancient force in a dark and wild place. In that case she might be channeling a little bit of Jim Morrison. It appears as though that might be the case and I love it. The music shows me skulls and butterflies. The way good music should.

Rachel also has this Lykke Li or maybe Niki and the Dove thing going on. So I guess i’d describe her sound and style as a combo between a Swedish Nancy Wilson and a Southern witch doctor. It all melts together to produce a tremendous allure I might add.

Raggy Monster as a whole is magnetic in the way they perform. They all seem to know how to submit to the madness of creativity and channel their collective force into music. Songs from the album like Iyiyi, a powerful song i’d recommend watching live on Youtube, demonstrates exactly what I mean. Guinevere is a song that i’d say best captures the essence of Raggy Monster.

However, I think one of my favorite songs from the album was Hannah. Mainly because it rides out like a Johnny Cash song with that grainy, folky vibe it’s got going. It’s kind of romantic really. Visions of unknown horizons. Westward bound like a love lost. But that arresting, manic, poetic mysticism thing comes out in songs like Morgan’s Organs and Guinevere.

The album is diverse in the sense that the sound never stays the same. So it pans out spontaneously because each song is different. But they have this high energy craziness when the perform live, and Rachel reminds me more of Janis Joplin than Robert Plant when they cover Led Zeppelin’s Since I’ve Been Loving You.

But who cares what I think, right? Well obviously you care if you’ve read this far. Weird.

Yes. I guess my final words here should be something encouraging. So… skulls and butterflies.


Fort Vine Album Review

By: Joe Siess

I’ve never been an Indie/Rock kind of guy to tell you the truth. I’ve always gravitated towards the old music. Maybe I have an old soul. I listen to a lot of Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, The Doors, Janis Joplin. All the crazy dead people that self-annihilated in the 70’s because the frequency was up too high.

Listening to Fort Vine’s debut album entitled One in the Same, and checking out their stuff online, I came to the conclusion that Nyna Nelson needs Continue reading