Kidman J. Williams

Kidman Williams

Executive Publisher

Kidman J. Williams has been professionally writing for 15+ years now. He has written for many publications in a wide range of different mediums. Through his 20’s he was the frontman of the band Call to the Wise with a mild amount of success touring and making two albums.

Kidman also was in political radio and worked for the broadcasting giant WLS. He worked and learned a lot from the experience. He got to meet political conversation pieces like Todd Stroger, Blagoyavich, etc.

During this time he became burnt out on the high pressure and dishonesty of the broadcasting industry and left. He couldn’t take the constant and brutal dishonesty that came with political radio broadcasting.

With his illusions shattered, Kidman struck out with his writing again. Much like one of his writing influences (Lester Bangs) he found a kinship with music journalism. He has interviewed many from the industry like Hank Williams III (Hank3), Scott Ian and so many more.

He has covered many events like the porn convention, Exxxotica, concerts and sports; he has even done strip club reviews down in the Tampa area.

Now he has found a home and a true kinship with Gonzo Today and the high standard that comes with carrying the “Gonzo” name.

Kidman, “I have always been a political/social junkie of sorts. I always knew that I wanted to be in the political forum. WLS did nothing to curb my passion for it, but what they did do was ass-fuck the ideals that I carried for the genre. They showed me a dark seedy room with sawdust on the floor, bent me over callously and gave me a true knowledge of how dark politics can truly be!”

The 5 Most Influential Irish Rockers of All Time

We celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day with the fervent abuse of our livers to honor, well, most people forgot what we honor.  Hey, we are all Irish on this day because Saint Patrick was…wait…Saint Patrick was born in Scotland.  Saint Patrick was born near Dumbarton, in Scotland in 387.

So, why is this an Irish Holiday?  Well, Saint Patrick preached and converted all of the Pagan Irish to Christianity for 40 years until he died at Saul, March 17, 461.  Introducing a bunch of happy Pagans to Christian guilt would probably explain a lot of the drinking; poor Celts.

That is not what this is about though.  This is about praising some of the greatest and most influential Irish musicians that have inspired us, entertained us and gave us many beautiful memories.

 

1. Van Morrison

 

Born, George Ivan (Van) Morrison in Belfast, this Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame musician started in the Showband scene in Ireland, playing with the Monarchs.  After leaving the Showband scene he went on to international success with the band, Them in 1964.  Them had a few hits that included the legendary garage rock classic, “Gloria.”

Them were so amazing that during their almost month long stint at the Whisky a Go Go The Doors were their supporting act on the last week.  John Densmore noted in his book “Riders on the Storm,” that Jim Morrison himself was so taken with Van that he quickly studied and learned Van’s stagecraft.

1967 marked the beginning of Van Morrison’s long and legendary solo career.  He would go on to record some of the most recognizable, influential and musically bold recordings that the world had ever heard.

2. Thin Lizzy

 

Thin Lizzy was founded in 1969 by guitarist Eric Bell and organ player, Eric Wrixon (both musicians previously played with Them).  The formation was over a drinks in a pub in Dublin where they both shared the interest of starting a band.  That same night, as it always is when you’re drunk and have an idea, the pair went to another place to see a band called Orphanage that featured Phil Lynott and drummer, Brian Downey.  Lynott and Downey agreed under the condition that Lynott play bass and sing and that they perform some of his own compositions. Continue reading

Hitler is a Cunt

artwork copyright© 2015 joeyfeldman, all rights reserved; www.joeyfeldman.com

By: Kidman J. Williams

Adolf Hitler was a cunt! That is the only statement that comes to mind when I think about the cowardly little former painter turned Cunty McTwatalot. I know, most writers would write something a little less abrasive, a little more history and some of these spineless tics might even try to show a bit of sympathy towards the Hitler character; all to try to save face for the next job interview. That is not me! To Hell with him and all of his modern cousins. Continue reading

Civil War Isn’t Civil

by Kidman J. Williams

The last fifteen years in the United States must have brought tears to the eyes of Lady Liberty; thank the Heavens that her back is turned to the rest of the countries’ woes.  She looked on in 2001 as the towers crumbled down to Ground Zero.  Her eyes went on to witness the Occupy Wallstreet shitstorm that ignited Tea Partiers and the then, a fairly unknown group at that time, Anonymous.   This illuminated a different kind of war in the U.S.; a civil war of sorts known as “Class Warfare.” New York had seen quite their fair share of heartbreak and poverty though the last 15 years, but as we know, The Big Apple does not speak for the whole country.

While all of this was going on, our Lady of Liberty’s back was turned to the rest of the nation’s atrocious poverty, violence and overall frustrations.  She is just waiting for the day that freedom will prevail once again in this great country.  She is patient in the quest for freedom.  We are all waiting for freedom to not be blanketed by this headline of safety bought by the rich and powerful.  Our fore-fathers still do run this country with their pictures on greenbacks; it’s just that their words got lost and used for Presidential toilet paper by the last few Commanders and their pignut families. Continue reading

Hate-fucking: American Style

By: Kidman J. Williams

It was around 1PM when Woody and I woke up in a post-drunken haze on my couch. I was awakened by the sadistic ramblings of Rachael Ray blaring through the speakers of my 55 inch plasma screen. Woody had been stirring for a minute or two and then gradually opened his eyes to Ray showing us how to make some potato mash that looked like something thrown up the night before. Woody looked at me with a sad look on his face, “Would you fuck her?”

I looked up at the TV screen one more time. I gave a long blurry gaze at the pseudo chef as her perky ramblings sliced through my brain as if I was in a prison movie cafeteria and the toothbrush shiv was stuck through the bottom of my neck. “I’d probably hate-fuck her,” I answered with what I could only figure was a shocking answer for the more reserved Woody.

Woody’s face just drooped and his eyebrows rose up. “What is a hate-fuck?”

“You’ve never heard of hate-fucking?”  Continue reading

How Many Miles Do You Put on Your Penis in One Year?

By: Kidman J. Williams

It is an inevitable fact that men not only pleasure themselves, but we enjoy it. We enjoy it so much that even when we are getting the humpty hump regularly we are still dating our hands. We’ve all known women that tell their men that masturbation is cheating. Well, that’s just not true! It has nothing to do with women. We are just slutty taint-pirates by nature. We as men treat our special man with only the utmost respect and when “he” stands up we listen to our Commander and Chief.

The question that comes up is how much do men masturbate? How many miles does the average man put on his penis in one year? I’m sure the number lies somewhere between muscular jock to mathematical genius. We’re going to take our figures from the average C+, all American, self-loving slacker. Continue reading