Kidman J. Williams

Kidman Williams

Executive Publisher

Kidman J. Williams has been professionally writing for 15+ years now. He has written for many publications in a wide range of different mediums. Through his 20’s he was the frontman of the band Call to the Wise with a mild amount of success touring and making two albums.

Kidman also was in political radio and worked for the broadcasting giant WLS. He worked and learned a lot from the experience. He got to meet political conversation pieces like Todd Stroger, Blagoyavich, etc.

During this time he became burnt out on the high pressure and dishonesty of the broadcasting industry and left. He couldn’t take the constant and brutal dishonesty that came with political radio broadcasting.

With his illusions shattered, Kidman struck out with his writing again. Much like one of his writing influences (Lester Bangs) he found a kinship with music journalism. He has interviewed many from the industry like Hank Williams III (Hank3), Scott Ian and so many more.

He has covered many events like the porn convention, Exxxotica, concerts and sports; he has even done strip club reviews down in the Tampa area.

Now he has found a home and a true kinship with Gonzo Today and the high standard that comes with carrying the “Gonzo” name.

Kidman, “I have always been a political/social junkie of sorts. I always knew that I wanted to be in the political forum. WLS did nothing to curb my passion for it, but what they did do was ass-fuck the ideals that I carried for the genre. They showed me a dark seedy room with sawdust on the floor, bent me over callously and gave me a true knowledge of how dark politics can truly be!”

The Ruin of Saturday Morning Cartoons

By: Kidman J. Williams

I used to love Saturday morning cartoons. I couldn’t wait to wake up, go out into the kitchen and get myself a heaping bowl of Apple Jacks and park my Under Roos clad booty in front of the television to watch all my favorite shows of the time. We all watched Looney Toons, Beetlejuice, Tom and Jerry, and who doesn’t remember The Gummi Bears?

The old cartoons always had something for the adults to enjoy along with their kids so that they could tolerate being in the same room. Even The Muppet Show. Especially The Muppet Show. I once watched a gorilla hump Bunsen’s butt after he sent Beaker back in time.

soul-train-10-greatest-moments-10-12-2013Then alas there was always the end. The first signal was when Saved By the Bell came on because you knew Soul Train was right around the corner to ruin your whole cartoon morning.

What happened to the old insensitive cartoons. Back when you could watch a cat throw a mouse into a sandwich and a dog beat the ever loving Hell out of cat. Good ole Spike. He just didn’t like Tom did he. Tom was kind of a selfish dumpster cat.

If you watch cartoons now verse the cartoons that came on back when we were kids, there is a considerable difference in the scripts.

 

The Adult Humor is Gone in Cartoons

 

Take the Flintstones. Iconic cartoon, but it was very much the Honeymooners with Jackie Gleason and Art Carney. There is no doubt. It also contained grown up things and ideas. Fred went to work, he would go on lunch break, he would come home, have dinner, go bowling; at night him and Wilma chilled, probably had a fight, and Fred would get locked out of the house because the domesticated Saber-tooth tiger outsmarted him and locked him out of the house Continue reading

#WTF2016

By: Kidman J. Williams

I envy anybody who’s conscience will allow them to vote for a candidate in 2016. Would it matter anyway? If nobody voted, we’d still have a winner. The candidates leave so much to hate this year. We have everything from Trump being a union busting rapist to Clinton pulling off the greatest beating to the legal system ever, beating out O.J. Simpson’s the glove don’t fit defense.

In the beginning of this dancing chicken show, I found myself working at a smaller newspaper in Kentucky under an editor that knew about as much about the newspaper business as Trump knows about politics and Hillary knows about honesty.

103423690-Donald_and_hilary.530x298Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton

Buckle up buttercup, this piece is going to cover some ground.

The town of Cadiz is a beautiful place filled with great people who just wanted their newspaper to reflect their county and write about things that matter. How many times can you report on the poultry ordinance – the editor was testing it week after week.

She was a glory hound and a design specialist who got the job because she took one journalist class and was the star at her high school newspaper. She would throw out terms like yellow journalism when she was actually talking about a title being sensationalized; that is sensationalism. When I called her out on that mistake, it went over as well as you might think.

When calling out a mistake on an ego that big you want to be careful – those egos have a tendency to explode with hatred and a strong will to club you with that ego.

I was sitting at the office when Trump’s running was made official to the world and all I could think was that this has got to be a joke. He is going to back out like he did before. This is all for publicity for his stupid reality show; until I saw his face. I could read the seriousness in his eyes and the determination in his little duckface.

While I was working in Kentucky I came across a well connected man. A former military man with heavy connections within the system. The old man told me once that “the Russians have a much bigger involvement in what has been going on in this country.”

He explained that they have to do with the tensions in this country. I looked him dead in the face and I forgot about it a bit, while still rattling it in the back of my busy head.

Fast-forward to the current events that have been laid in our laps. We are looking at a world that has many  problems from all directions and we have a Trump vs Clinton presidential race.

We have Hillary Clinton racing to erase her wrongs all over. The obvious payoffs to Google who changed their search engine for Clinton and the possibility that the Russians hold all 30,000 missing emails. Again the Russians who are quite possibly feeding money and artillery to the terrorist efforts.

You scoff, but have the extremists hit Russia or any of their allies? No, no they haven’t. I’m not saying that Putin and the Russians are using Isis, but I might be. There is a possibility that Russia loves all the race wars that Black Lives Matter has been stirring. Are they behind it? No. Of course not. The US is perfectly capable of screwing things up without help, but they could be.

If you watched the RNC and DNC like I have you would have noticed the Republicans getting demonized for being racists, bigots, and overall evil. If you were really watching with an objective eye you would have seen that the Republicans just did their convention while the protests against them raged in the streets. The Liberals were outside of the DNC as well screaming and attacking journalists, and one Black Lives Matter speaker outside yelling that “White people need to go to the back. Get back, get back and all white people you will appropriately take your place in the back of this march.” She continued to incite people and even ordering that white media go to the back and black media come to the front of the march at the DNC in Philadelphia.

In one incident the liberal mobs decided to go after Geraldo Rivera. Why? That upset me almost as much as the “whites to the back” comments. Why would you make Rivera relevant again you rotten bastards?

It makes you wonder who the racists really are.

Though the Republicans haven’t been the victims in this race. There has been a slew of Trump supporters throwing out racist remarks, horrible things about our current President, and even the KKK has been supporting Trump. That doesn’t make Trump a racist, but it does put his followers and campaign in a bad light.

The fix is in though and I fear that nobody understands that. It sure seems like it. Watch more closely and you’ll see it. I see that people don’t understand that they have been pitted against one another. That is very obvious.

I understand being frustrated. I understand frustrations. I’m not immune to it, but when your crowds are attacking people for what candidate they prefer, attacking journalists, and just ignorant to everything and everybody with a different idea that kind of makes you no better than those rotten goat fuckers from Isis. That’s what it makes them and they show it every time I turn on the TV or see a march.

Frustration without a dialogue only leads to violence, destructive behavior, and death. We tell little children to use their big boy and girl words; why can’t adults do the same?

We can only hope as a country that we can actually come together. When Obama came into office I thought he was going to bring people together, it seems like he has done quite the opposite with his two terms. If we can’t come together we can surely kiss this nation good-bye as a real world power and influence in the world.

All I have to say is #WTF2016?!?

Kidman Williams on the New Music Section

By: Kidman J. Williams

Why should you care what I think about music? Should you? Probably not.  No more than you would listen to any other music journalist. You should probably trust me more than anyone at Rolling Stone. That stone has been rolling down the side of a steep cliff for years now.

You might have asked yourself, “what qualifies this fucking guy as a music critic, a music journalist, or a damned Music Editor.”

Don’t be so pushy I’m getting there asshole!

I am always willing to put myself out there on a limb so that you (the reader) will not be lied to and/or deceived. I will never tell you look at that dragon when it really is just an iguana smoking a cigarette. I value my reputation and your trust.

A Brief Overview of Kidman J. Williams

 

I came from an immensely musical family. That doesn’t really qualify me for music journalism though does it? ? I myself play five different instruments. I play guitar, bass, trumpet, harmonica, and my vocal coach was a Juilliard graduate that I studied under for about two years. My aptitude for music is pretty vast and my taste in music is extremely wide.

I was with the band Call to the Wise for quite a few years as our frontman and two-bit guitarist. I really was a hack compared to Dan Von Jenef’s guitar work. The other members of the band included Lou Lou on the bass and Steve Smith on the drums. We made for an interesting band. There were other members as well, but that was a great lineup.

We lived the rock-n-roll lifestyle to the hilt. There was drinking, sex, more drinking, and the drugs weren’t that bad either, and of course more drinking. The whole world was open for our brash brand of alternative metal groove, then adulthood crept in through the backdoor and we found ourselves with injurious record contracts from a few different labels.

WWE Superstar Rikishi with Kidman Williams

After that, I went into the radio broadcasting industry and delved deeper into my writing career. I don’t suggest being a writer, it can be a glamorous job, especially as a music journalist; kiss stability good-bye. Kiss your life good-bye and most of all, if you are an honest writer, kiss steady employment good-bye. For the most part the radio industry was amazing and fun. Everyone I met was such an interesting character. I’ve interviewed music stars, TV celebrities, and even a couple movie stars and authors. It was an interesting time.

I’ve had my issues over the years. There was one national magazine that I worked for, the owners were stuffy types from the U.K. They didn’t like my “brash, bold, honest, and sometimes vulgar approach to writing.” My editor Jessica stood up for me and kept me on. Then the change happened. I started producing numbers for the magazine becoming one of the top producers in numbers for the magazine. I had at one time with them, a cover story in the print magazine along with three of the six features on the website. Life was looking good.

John Schneider (Smallville, Dukes of Hazzard) with Kidman Williams

I have done many different interviews and covered everything in my writing career from sports to strip club reviews and a lot of music journalism.

I have done interviews with the likes of Hank Williams III, Mushroomhead, the drummer of Korn, and former Misfits frontman Michale Graves. That is just to name a few.

Honesty is the Policy

 

I am the kind of writer that will tell you the truth. I bashed an entire venue one time. I said the bands at the festival were great. The whole show was. I was very fair in my critique of the actual show. The bands did a wonderful show. The venue however, robbed the patrons blind! They were asking $5.00 for water and $14.00 for a 16 oz. can of Miller Lite. It was a shit show with high caliber talent to bring in unsuspecting customers so they could properly rob them.

What good is a journalist if you can’t trust him? If you can’t trust a journalist then they are nothing more than a salesman or a politician. This is why we have such a problem with the mainstream media today. They are all salesmen and politicians. They are no better than a used car salesmen with a picture of eight kids on his desk or a stripper putting herself through college.

Our album reviews will be true! We aren’t like other wheeling rock magazines. Did you get what I did there? We aren’t going to like everything we review. There just isn’t that much good music out there. Frankly, there are a lot of really horrible bands that get pushed on the consumer.

My point is that I believe in telling the reader what is what. I won’t shortcut what it means to be a music journalist.

What to Expect

from the New Music Section

 

We will be moving forward on doing CD reviews, giving you the most honest and fair reviews that the business has to offer. There won’t be any ego boosting of overly popular artists. If Jay Z puts out a phoned in album or Metallica does another Lulu like album, I’ll tell you it was a travesty to the legacy of Lou Reed and Metallica.

Writer Kidman Williams with Islander Frontman Mikey Carvajal

Concert reviews will be taken objectively as well. We will deliver an honest interpretation of the show and PR willing, we will give you a set list as well. We will give you all of what you want out of a concert review.

I can’t stress the word honesty enough to all of you. That is the whole basis of what I want to bring to our music section because if I can’t be honest, what good is a music section with reviews. If we are lying to you then we are getting paid to lie to you and I just don’t subscribe to that kind of business.

We will also be bringing you Artist Spotlights, music editorials, we may even bust out a few listicles from time to time, and of course interviews.

I want to bring only the highest standard of writing to you (the reader). I will along with major music stars be bringing you the newest and most interesting artists that you may or may not have heard of. Thank you for reading Gonzo Today.

Hillary Clinton the Bullet Dodger

 

America might be getting what it deserves. Not what the people deserve, but what the politicians and corporations have brought onto the good and bad people of this country. FBI director James Comey might be the most powerful since J. Edgar Hoover despite Comey’s open criticisms about Hoover. Where does this put Hillary Clinton and how does this position Donald Trump?

Clinton dodging this bullet may have had more to do with Trump than you might think. It is quite clear that Trump will win, it was pretty clear from the beginning.

Comey acted on his own. He hadn’t told anyone what his decision was. Not even the Attorney General Loretta Lynch was privy to the outcome. He caught everyone by surprise including the public. When Comey was giving his speech he was telling people everything that Clinton did was wrong, but then dropped his balls into Hillary Clinton’s clunky old lady purse to state:

” Although there is evidence of potential violations of the statutes regarding the handling of classified information, our judgment is that no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case. Prosecutors necessarily weigh a number of factors before bringing charges. There are obvious considerations, like the strength of the evidence, especially regarding intent. Responsible decisions also consider the context of a person’s actions, and how similar situations have been handled in the past.”

“In looking back at our investigations into mishandling or removal of classified information, we cannot find a case that would support bringing criminal charges on these facts. All the cases prosecuted involved some combination of: clearly intentional and willful mishandling of classified information; or vast quantities of materials exposed in such a way as to support an inference of intentional misconduct; or indications of disloyalty to the United States; or efforts to obstruct justice. We do not see those things here.”

The poor judgment by Comey’s alone actions may prove to be his political demise. Despite Clinton scooting by the charges, her ambitious desires could still be put on hold by Attorney General Loretta Lynch.

Did you forget that Lynch has the power to override what Comey’s decision was? I think Lynch might forget it too.

The Clinton clan has skated through their political careers on what seemed to be good smiles and luck. What a lot of people don’t know and don’t care to know is that the Clinton’s have gotten through their controversies with high power allies like Comey.

It is known that Comey back during that little controversy Whitewater, Comey served as deputy special counsel on the Senate Whitewater Committee. He had also investigated the pardon by then President Bill Clinton of donor Marc Rich.

If Comey doesn’t get fired I will be surprised. This was way too public this time. Our government doesn’t mind a little corruption, as long as it isn’t blatantly in the face of the public. That is when things get a little hairy.

Comey said, “there was no intention of violating the law.”

I ask you the reader. When has anyone been found innocent based on their intention? If a gangbanger walked into a liquor store, robbed and killed the shopkeeper; could he get away innocent because he never intended on committing murder? According to the Clinton’s and President Obama you can!

This is not my United States.

Donald Trump Will Prevail but Not How You Think

 

It is very possible that Trump is right. The whole thing “is rigged,” but not for Clinton. Watching this presidential race is like walking into the bathroom to pee and finding a terrible turd floating in the toilet. However this is all only speculation and plausible theory.

The 30,000 emails that are really more like 60,000 according to Comey may just destroy Hillary Clinton, but it actually won’t. Trump stands to make quite a win. Not since Ronald Reagan have we seen such a qualified actor jump into the highest office in the US. Is he going to get this on his merit though?

Donald Trump has jumped on this like a good political opportunist should. Is he really that upset over what she did though? He just got the sway of votes from Clinton and has put the nail in Bernie Sanders coffin. Sanders was obviously riding on the possibility of Clinton being ran out of the race.

Could this have been a wild setup for a Trump Presidency?

I’m not the kind of writer to jump on conspiracy theories, but this just seems very off. Trump just got such a chance to jump into the lead with Clinton skating out without any scars. She didn’t even get a obligatory slap on her naughty fanny.

What could this mean?

The Trump and Clinton camp looking like old high school chums.

The Trump and Clinton camp looking like old high school chums.

Trump was good and tight with the Clintons at one time. He was also a pretty well-known Democrat. He was even quoted saying such things. He also stated in the past that “the economy runs better under Democrats.”

There are many ways of seeing that this is possible, though there is no real evidence. However, we were all taught that if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it is a Trump with a duck-face.

Is it so ludicrous to think that this might be another string pulled for the sake of a show?

Trump is a carnival barker. A reality show host with a long list of beautiful ex-wives and a trust fund that kept him away from the general public. The rich do things differently than any of us do. That’s how they generally become rich and stay rich.

Hillary may have agreed to do all this including her personalized meeting with the FBI. If the FBI wanted me I’d have to be there. They wouldn’t give me a chance to erase any of my emails. NO WAY! They would have jumped quick to make sure my lawyers didn’t get to erase anything important.

All of this just seemed to be too casual for me to swallow. Even Trump is being very predictable in his actions after Comey’s speech. He is loud as always, but he doesn’t seem that surprised either.

I’m not going to say that this is what our government is doing, but I sure won’t say that they aren’t doing it.

DANGEROUS NEW INTERNET SCAM: BLACKMAIL

By: Kidman J. Williams

Some people would say the American past time is baseball. Nowadays, some folks would say that football has taken over that title. We, as men and women, know that neither of these are true. The real American past time is: masturbation.

The Blackmailer's Facebook Profile

The Blackmailer’s Facebook Profile

Unlike the past, people have many ways to touch themselves. It used to be a dirty magazine or a peep show. Now we have many internet options and a couple of those tools is Skype and Facebook. I’m not exempt from these things and was just caught up in a new/old internet scam where I jerked off to what I thought was a sexy 22 year old woman with bad English from Dallas, Texas.

What I ended up in was quite a debacle. I had been speaking with a Facebook scam artist for about five days. Her alias on Facebook is Barbara Santanna. She or he got me to unwittingly jump onto Skype with her for a face to face session.

It wasn’t until then that I realized that she was just looking for some webcam fun. I have no shame, people should know this about me. I’m pretty proud of my rig.

What I saw on my screen was a hot Asian woman. When the photo from Facebook and Skype didn’t match I should have bailed right then and there. I just figured I would be able to get mine before they cut me off and sent me to a pay website. What I didn’t anticipate, was the proposal I got. I was about to get a crash course in BLACKMAIL!

How the Scam Works

 

Like I stated earlier, Santanna got a hold of me through my personal Facebook page and lured me into a Skype chat. The woman on the video feed was in fact a hot Asian woman in her 20’s. She looked like an amateur porn vixen. The stage had been set.

According to the people at www.scamsurvivors.com the extortionist plays you a previously recorded porn that they get from whatever porn website they found and splice in the tape. As they do that they are sitting and watching you.

The important thing to note is, they WILL ask you to take out your respective piece first. That is key. They will be pushy and quick to ask for nudity.

The woman or man typing to me asked me to show her my pretty cock. I obliged the request. I stupidly obliged the request as it were. I had only been buttering my corn for a few short minutes when the woman’s feed went off and all of the sudden I was slapped with a looped video of myself going Hans Solo on Darth Vader’s head. I don’t recommend seeing your own stroke faces on video.

ScamSurvivors.com also states that you should not report the Facebook user. This is a common mistake made by victims who panic. If you report the said extortionist they will just disappear completely and there will be no trace of them left until the next victim gets caught with their pants down around their ankles.

One way they are getting away with the crime besides staying anonymous is that when they give you the information on where to send the money Western Union you will see a part where it says, “Question: ok” and “Answer: ok.” What this means is that you allowed the extortionist to pick up the money without any identification. That poses quite a problem when catching these artless pignuts.

Another thing that the website tells you to do is turn off contact to your Facebook for a while. Make sure that the blackmailer cannot contact you and you have no further contact with them. You will only have to put up with this inconvenience for a short time.

Just be sure to follow their easy steps and you will be able to get through this intense situation. Just don’t panic. If you follow the instructions set by ScamSurvivors.com they claim a 99.95% success rate.

The Details of

How I Got Hustled By A Blackmailer

 

Some of the Facebook conversation.

Some of the Facebook conversation.

I think I covered how I got trapped in the hustle that this disgusting person cooked up. The blackmailer hustled me for about a week via Facebook Messenger. The conversation went from the standard chit chat and getting to know one another to Skype.The conversation and how they went about blackmailing me is pretty important. Essentially I found them to be the dumbest blackmailer in the history of blackmail.

At one point during the exchange the blackmailer kept yelping at me to show them my cock. I was having a really hard time seeing them on my laptop while I showed my penis to them. I kept hunching over to try and get just the right look at her while keeping her turned on with my member. The angles made it very difficult to see her. The person typed to me, “Will show me your beautiful cock just two seconds and I show you my breasts and my pussy go,” she continued to push the issue. “look at my breasts and show me your cock, show me your cock, drop well (your cam on your beautiful cock).”

Once the feed of the hot woman stopped I was face to face with my own information staring back at me. The good thing is that the blackmailer must deal with a much lower intellect usually because right away I knew that they didn’t hack anything. They just shot me my general information. The stuff that everyone sees.

Skype Screenshot of my Facebook About section

Skype Screenshot of my Facebook About section

What they did decide to threaten me with was sending the video to my family members. Well, even that didn’t shame me into anything. That was really just another scare tactic. What they still hadn’t figured out is that I literally don’t have much shame when it comes to me giving the one gun salute.

That’s when the blackmailer decided to try to come after me for $5,000 or else they were going to release my video to the public. At this point I still didn’t really care. I’ve shown my penis for free many times in the past. It isn’t a new conversation piece.

They kept making me answer the same tired questions. “Do you want me to send this onto site?” After that the blackmailer gave me a list of different sites that they would put it on including YouTube and many other foreign sites. They still didn’t push me to any worry.

Then they showed me screenshots of the video ready to be posted to YouTube. When I saw it I giggled a little at first until I saw the title.

The YouTube Screenshot

The YouTube Screenshot

Despite the blackmailer’s bad English the idea got across. They titled the video Kidman J Williams Mastube Webcam in Front of a Girl 09 Years.

That is when any person should be quite scared. Well…that backfired on them! I took the whole thing very personal at that point.

Instead of scaring me they put me on the defense. Now I was the rattlesnake being trapped in a corner ready to bite you in your face. Years of journalism, shady characters, and an ex baby-momma had forced me to learn how to deal with unreasonable and unsavory people.

The blackmailer kept throwing threats at me that I shouldn’t leave or cut the feed. What they didn’t know is that I had zero intentions on doing that. I was saddling up to keep them right where they were until I was done getting what I wanted out of them.

As the conversation and negotiations went on I managed to get them down from $5,000 to $100. I found this to be quite the feat!

Who in the history of blackmail has ever negotiated their own blackmail? ME! Kidman J. Williams!!! That’s who negotiates their own blackmail. Rotten French speaking African goat lover!

This is when I reached out to a man who will stay nameless. This man is a computer genius who had helped me in the past with other articles and things. He is also a private investigator. He is a very unassuming type with a heavy stature.

It helps to have people in high and low places.

As the blackmailer sat there making all their threats towards me, I and my P.I. were working feverishly to find a solution.

To keep the blackmailer on the line I just kept the dialog going and decided to even agitate them with a little smack talk.

Nothing keeps a sketchy scumbag talking like talking a bunch of shit.

As the conversation rolled along the blackmailer kept making me answer the same questions, except the questions were a little different every time. The blackmailer must have gotten this from a book on American interrogation tactics. They sat there trying to fluster me with their idiotic line of questioning. All this did was irritate me more.

It didn’t fluster me. It didn’t even make me nervous or scared. It irked me that the blackmailer felt so smug and in control. That’s why I don’t like politicians. Same thing.

The blackmailer decided to send me the information to send the money. There it was. They then reaffirmed my belief that they were speaking French. Their Google Translate worked about as well as you would think. Their native language kept coming through.

The blackmailer was from the Ivory Coast somewhere. They are mainly French speaking in those countries over in Africa.

The Blackmailer's Western Union Info

The Blackmailer’s Western Union Info

Now I felt pretty good, except that they uploaded the video and sent it to me in the feed along with it loaded and ready to send to my different family members. This gave me a bit of concern. Not a whole lot, because they really just wanted their money. Even if it was only $100.

My P.I. got back a hold of me. He said, “Here is a website that takes care of an array of different online scams like this. I would try to find him, but it would be near impossible to do. Just follow what they say on the website.”

I immediately went to the site and started to follow all their instructions.

While I was going through the prompts at ScamSurvivors.com, the blackmailer began asking me to bring it to the Western Union. I started making excuses to them as to how long it would take after they gave me a half hour. I told them that that would be near impossible, knowing that it would just irritate them further.

As the insults and back and forth continued we finally stopped talking. I made them so mad that they just ended all communication. I called that a job well-done.

A little smack talk to my blackmailer.

A little smack talk to my blackmailer.

Now, I had only about two hours to get the stuff wrapped up with ScamSurvivors.com and go to the authorities before the possibility of my video being sent everywhere on the net.

As I was going through the motions on the website I needed an old password for an old email linked to my Facebook page. I didn’t know how to get back into that email so I had to get a confirmation number that went to my ex’s phone because my Facebook was linked to her number, because we both used it back when I started my Facebook page.

This was the embarrassing part for me. Out of all the things that should have been an utter embarrassment, this was by far the worst.

I called her, “Hey, did you get a confirmation number texted to your phone?”

I tried to play it as cool as I could, she replied, “Yeah. What do you need it for?”

“Look I just need it for an email.”

She continued badgering me as to why, “Why do you need it?”

“Are you kidding me right now? I just need it to get into an email.”

“Why though?”

“Look, I’ll tell you everything later, but time can’t be wasted right now. You really don’t need to know right now.”

“You just brought me into this when you are sending things to my phone,” she said in a playful tone.

“Fine! You want to know? You really want to know?”

“Yes, this has to be good.”

“Fine, I got caught up by a blackmailer.”

“Wait, what?!?”

“Yes.”

She paused for a long stretch trying to wrap her head around the idea then replied slowly, “What did you do?”

“Fine, I’ll tell you. I jerked off on a Skype session with a woman and I was videotaped and now they are attempting to blackmail me. You good with that?”

She had burst into tears laughing so hard at my hardship. “Are you done?” I asked. Her laughing went on for about a solid four minutes.

She finally gave me the number I needed and ended our conversation with, “You do know I’m telling everybody, right?” As if I didn’t know that already.

“I figured. I’ll talk to you later.”

After the call of death with the ex I called the local authorities. I had figured that it would be a good idea since the blackmailer was titling the video with me masturbating to a nine year old.

I talked to a Hernando County Sheriff, a woman with a smooth voice by the name of Maura Kemper. We had a nice talk about everything that had happened to me. Every single fine detail.

You’d think that it would be pretty hard to embarrass a Sheriff? Especially one who patrols Florida! Well, I managed to turn her red over the phone when I started to talk about the masturbation itself. She didn’t even want to utter the word. “When you, you know?” she asked with a warble. “I can’t even say it.”

“You can’t say it?!?” I asked back playfully. “Is it some kind of protocol?”

“No, no,” she said giggling a little bit.

“You are too embarrassed to say it aren’t you?” I asked. “That’s it! I can hear you getting red over the phone.”

I told her, “It is fine. I’m not embarrassed. I’m a Gonzo journalist. I have zero shame. In fact, I’m pretty proud of what I got.”

“It is just—”

“It is fine,” so I continued to tell her the story of what had happened in some kind of a chronological order.

I was even fine telling her that I had no shame and that I was pretty proud of what I had to show. Really, I just liked giving her the giggles. It made my day. I needed the fun after this whole situation.

After I spoke with Sheriff Kemper I sat and mulled over the whole situation. Kemper even told me that I should write this article letting everyone know that this scam is out there waiting for their horny five minutes. What she didn’t know is that I had made up my mind to do this article for everyone in the very first second I realized that I was being blackmailed.

I got on the phone and started telling people that if they got a message with a video and my name, don’t open! Did I have to tell them why? Of course I did. Like I said earlier, zero shame! I even flat told my mother. We are all adults. What adult male doesn’t slap the purple-headed yogurt pistol? Granted, most people don’t get blackmailed for doing it, but what can you do?

The new threat 3 days after the initial blackmail

The new threat 3 days after the initial blackmail

Days went by and I’ve only heard little things from my blackmailer. The blackmailer would send little question marks or “Are you there” until I got a new Facebook message from them three days later. The photo will say it all.

The blackmailer tried to re-post the video on YouTube and then to my personal Facebook page. YouTube has taken it down again.

Be sure that if you do fall into this trap that you keep checking from time to time on YouTube and other websites that the blackmailer will list off.

A warning from me folks, don’t be embarrassed and panic. Even though this is a funny story at times it is a VERY SERIOUS SITUATION. I’m just a different kind of person when it comes to weird situations like these. My approach is much different.

As I was saying, panic will probably make you pay the bad guy. Don’t pay the bad guy people. If you end up paying they will just end up asking for more at a later date. It isn’t like they will get rid of your video. Use your brain and big boy pants.

A Personal Note from the Writer to the Blackmailer

SCAMMER

The Blackmailer’s FB Profile Pic

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ME, Kidman J. Williams, Victim

The reason you are in hiding is a good one. If someone actually knew who you were they’d probably kick the shit out of you for being so stupid and immoral. Just the simple fact that you think you can get away with it makes you one of the dumbest criminals alive. DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT SCREENSHOTS ARE A ONE WAY STREET?!?

You aren’t even an original! What did you do? Did you get this fucking scam off of a YouTube video MOTHERFUCKER?!? Truth is that I never thought I’d get trapped in one of these because I thought these types of scams were played out like fat pants and Jheri Curl.

The fact that you are so smug to think that you could actually get away with it makes your ego and ignorance stupendous. I’m a Gonzo Journalist bitch! I have no shame and I did nothing wrong except for stupidly jumping on a Skype session with your previously recorded hot Asian model with a large dildo and jerk-off. NO SHAME!

I have every screenshot, every lie that you uttered, and every detail you gave me. Next time you come after some poor unwitting bastard make sure THAT THEY ARE WEAKER THAN YOU! I am a journalist with many resources and if you don’t cease and desist, I will use all of my resources to find you. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU FUCKING FRENCH AFRICAN DICK SHITTER!

Take it away Pac!

Michale Graves: The Gonzo Today Interview

Interview with Kidman J. Williams

I heard from Michale Graves’ PR man Zak Carter via email stating that Graves wanted to meet before the show around five at the Brauerhouse in Lombard, IL. As I approached the venue, late, all I kept thinking was hopefully he is like every other musician and will be later than me. I walked in and it turned out he was in fact like every musician. So, luckily I had some time to kill. What I didn’t know was that Zak had sent me another email saying that they were going to be about two hours late.

When you wait to meet anybody you know one of two things. You know that they are going to be cool and giving or they are going to be penurious people.

My first taste of what kind of person Graves was came long before even the first band played. I  met a couple who drove two hours to come see Graves play because it was the closest that his tour was going to get to them.

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(Left Michale Graves, Right Ashley Lawler)

Ashley and Kevin, a married couple from Mount Morris, Illinois got a babysitter and set out to see Ashley’s favorite performer. I had a few drinks with the couple and they even offered me some of their French fries. They were so genuine in their demeanor and more caring than a Care Bear on Prozac. That is a compliment, really.

I was telling them that Graves was supposed to have met me there about an hour ago. She looked over her shoulder and asked me if that was him. She pointed at a man with a group of five others. The guy had a fleece sweater on with a ball cap. I couldn’t quite tell from where we were sitting.

I got up and Ashley asked me if I was just going to walk over there. I told her yeah, if I’m wrong I only look like a moron to a few people. I’ll never see again. It turned out that it was Graves. We had a talk and I told him about the couple I had met. Some people might have ignored the fact, but Graves welcomed them over.

That is the type of person Michale Graves is: very giving, very talented and a natural songwriter who doesn’t let fame go to his head.

Michale Graves Interview

 

Backstage with Michale Graves. (Left, Kidman Williams, Right Michale Graves

Backstage with Michale Graves. (Left, Kidman Williams, Right Michale Graves

Kidman J. Williams: First off let me confirm this because the internet can be…

Michale Graves: …A little wonky. (laughs)

On the internet it sure can.

It is true, it is true. It can be really hard to find a trusting source.

So you have been doing this since 1995?

Yeah, if you want to get really technical it was ’94. I came out with the Misfits in October of 1994. It was Halloween of ’94 and it was the Resurrection Tour which was January of ’95 and eventually signed with Geffen and American Psycho. I was 19 when I tried out for them and then 20 when I did my first show; I turned 21 in Germany on tour with them.

I don’t want to dwell too much on the Misfits, I’m pretty sure you’ve been asked every question there is about your time in the Misfits.

Certainly just about every question has been asked. Not every question. (laughs)

Honestly, throughout the years you’ve been with The Mopes, Misfits, Gotham Road, Lost Boys and Graves.

I’ve even done shows with Marky Ramone.

Right! You are like the Mike Patton of Punk!

YEAH! Right on man! I like that. Continue reading

GonzoFest 2016 Preview: Fly Golden Eagle

By: Kidman J. Williams

Fly Golden Eagle is the kind of band that most garage bands aspire to be. They have a unique expression and tone. The band’s lead man Ben Trimble is an anomaly himself. He was raised in hard rocking, Motown filled Detroit with his Kentucky religious roots and honky-tonk two-stepping.

The sound of Fly Golden Eagle isn’t only diverse because of Trimble. The whole band comes from different backgrounds as well. Bassist Matt Shaw comes from Texas, Mitch Jones, keyboardist is from Knoxville, Tennessee, and drummer Richard Harper hails from Alabama; they all came together in the already cross-genre city of Nashville.

This quartet brings a range of blues, country, and rock with the adventurous spirit of the Velvet Underground and melodic engulfing of My Morning Jacket to make a truly distinctive sound and personality.

One story that I found on the bio for the band was about their album Quartz. The album lines up with an old movie from 1973 called The Holy Mountain directed by Alejandro Jodorowski. The film was produced by The Beatles’ manager Allen Klein and even funded by John Lennon and George Harrison.

The story goes that Trimble was inspired by the movie while he was writing the material for the album and though it wasn’t intentional that the film and album would run together like The Dark Side of Oz, but that is what they got. All parts, lyrically and musically line up with the visuals and story of the film.

Fly Golden Eagle will be appearing on the main stage of GonzoFest 2016 in Louisville, Kentucky.