By: Kidman J. Williams
PETA is now at it again. You would think that they would be hunting down mink farms and throwing paint on unwitting people wearing their expensive leather coats, not this time. PETA is actually going after the video game world. Yes, you read that correctly, video games.
PETA is taking action against Games Workshop, they make little figurines from the game Warhammer 40,000.
PETA wants the CEO Kevin Rountree to stop depicting fur on their futuristic space Viking miniatures. To some people (including this writer) this may sound like a really trivial and stupid request, but PETA does have its own reasons.
What are their reasons?
PETA wrote in their blog that by clothing them in the plastic fur makes it seem OK to wear fur despite it being soldiers from a fictional universe and plastic.
Yep, still sounds dumb to me. Here is PETA’s direct quote below.
PETA has written to Games Workshop CEO Kevin Rountree asking that the leading British miniature war-gaming brand ban “fur” garments from all Warhammer characters. While we appreciate that they are fictional, draping them in what looks like a replica of a dead animal sends the message that wearing fur is acceptable – when, in fact, it has no more place in 2017 than it would in the year 40,000.
I have obviously showed no respect to PETA in this piece. I have no reason to. The request that PETA is asking is one that they need to drop. It is a conjured plea from people who have nothing better to do at this time from people who really don’t do a whole lot of good.
If PETA is looking for something more substantial to go after, there are plenty of videos circulating around social media and YouTube where people are actually harming animals. They need to roll up their sleeves and put in some work to find those people instead of attacking a company who makes figurines from a video game that isn’t even real.
By: Poster Bot
On November 9th I was the first in line at the Canadian immigration office… the first rat ready to abandon ship in the shadow of a Trump presidency. The attempt failed, but I wrote about the experience, and although a version of my story was published in NOW, the full story was edited down to half its original glory. So this story isn’t about Trump, or the rat returning home with his tail between his legs. It’s about the man who was cut from the pages of NOW, in a sad and profit-motivated attempt to cut James Filippelli from the pages of history.
James is the founder and current head of Your Political Party Of British Columbia. My interest in him was that YPP can be likened to an American third-party, and because my intent was to Continue reading
By: Kidman J. Williams
Carrie Fisher is dead at just 60 years old. Her mother, famous film star Debbie Reynolds addressed fans about her daughter’s heart-attack letting people know that she was recovering. Then just a couple days later that cold mercenary year of 2016 decided to put in some overtime and take our beloved Princess Leia Organa, just days after 2016 took George Michael.
Fisher has had a long documented history of drug abuse in her past, but that surprisingly didn’t stop her from working much.
We all know her iconic role as the strong and heroic Princess Leia in the Star Wars movies. She also was in The Blues Brothers (John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd), When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan), and of course who can forget her memorable scene in Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back where she plays the nun who Jay tries to mouth rape. She never stopped working through her career.
Carrie Fisher, you will always be one of my first loves ever and as corny as this might sound, may the force be with you. R.I.P. you deserve it.
At the time that I wrote this article there were no celebrity quotes about her.
photo credit: Ms. Gonzo
“America is not a young land: it is old and dirty and evil. Before the settlers, before the Indians… the evil was there… waiting.” — William S. Burroughs
by Kyle K. Mann
It seems to me that the USA has been mad – stark barking mad – for decades now. Since Vietnam, I guess, but perhaps before that. Maybe always, actually.
The madness has a dark, twisted quality to it, rather like a really long and spectacularly bad LSD trip, a feeling that nothing is right, nor will it ever be. That’s a downer, and most people don’t want to contemplate such things.
Still, there it is. As of late November, 2016, things have gotten way beyond weird in The States, and it’s not at all clear how the political situation will settle down, or when. In just the past few days, these events have occurred:
1) After a genuinely bizarre and unexpected win by Donald Trump, a next-day concession speech by purple-clad Hillary Clinton, and a statement by President Obama calling for an “orderly transition,” there have been increasingly controversial statements by “alternative media” figures that Trump stole the election.
2) Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein has called for vote recounts in three states, Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania. After initial silence, the “Clinton campaign” (to use the New York Times term) has decided to “participate” while saying it doesn’t see much chance of flipping any of the three states, but wants to assure Clinton voters that Russia hasn’t flipped them.
3) President Obama’s administration says the election is “free of interference,” according to the NYT.
4) Primary candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders, who arguably had his Democratic nomination stolen by Hillary Clinton, according to the WikiLeaks emails, says on ABC’s “This Week” that the recount is “not a big deal.”
5) President-elect Trump, communicating by “tweetstorm” (CBS News) claims he would have won the popular vote, which he has officially lost by over two million, had it not been for “millions of people who voted illegally.” Really? Trump also criticizes the vote recount, which to this observer seems strange. Millions? Doesn’t that call for a recount?
Then there’s the Blame-Russia campaign, which, supposedly with the aid of “fake news,” helped bamboozle decent God-fearing voters into voting for Trump. The Washington Post has published a list of a couple hundred such websites, including AntiWar.com, Truthout, Truthdig and CounterPunch. Even Consortium News. (Not on the list is Gonzo Today. What a horrendous insult.)
Which leaves us where?
In between reading, praising and then contrastingly hostile obituaries of Fidel Castro, and reluctantly monitoring the ongoing fighting in Mosul (Iraq) and Yemen, and suddenly wondering about the upcoming last season’s episode of ‘Poldark,’ I’m as puzzled as the next world resident. A month ago I thought I’d be writing calls to protest against Saint Hillary now, not this current inexplicable jumble of grotesque facts that don’t compute.
So, although my predictive abilities appear to be of dubious value, along with the many other, more established pundits, I’ll say this: it appears the Deep State is in disarray.
Ah, you say. And what is the Deep State?
The short answer: The people running the show from behind the curtain, pulling the levers, profiting from the madness. Intelligence agencies, corporate CEO’s, bureaucrats, super-secret underground moguls…
Yeah, but that’s conspiracy theory stuff, you say.
How about South Korea, where hundreds of thousands of protesters choke the streets of the capital, demanding the resignation of the nation’s first female president, on grounds she is a corrupt lawbreaker. And a member of the “Eight Fairies” cult. And there’s a mysterious woman companion currently hiding out in Germany. What a mess. And there is North Korea, soon to join China and Russia as a country that could nuke the USA. This gets beyond weird to unthinkable. What’s next? How about a reality shift? Ok, hang on…
If there are alien critters or dimensional beings running the show, that might explain some of this. Though a mix of aliens/dimensional beings and the Deep State might explain it even more. But until the day of Alien Disclosure, we won’t have much contemporary official confirmation.
In any case, we mostly all appear to be edging towards madness in our personal views. People are saying things I can’t believe on FaceBook. It’s shocking, distasteful. Some of them are longtime friends and family. Some of their posts I don’t want to think about, much less write about. Troubling.
In search of inner peace, I walked on Topanga Beach today. Brisk it was, for late November, but beautiful. Fresh clean air off the Pacific. Sunlight sparkling on the surf.
Inspired, I drove on to the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine over on Sunset, a few blocks from the Pacific Coast Highway. Gandhi’s ashes, or a portion, are interred there. For thirty years I’ve been dropping in occasionally. Always feel healed when at the resting place of the great spirit.
I set off on the path but soon came to a fence. Closed for repairs, it said.
Well. What a sign.
So, the drive home, and this way beyond weird act of writing. Hmm.
Maybe we’ll make that Fake News list this time.
Based upon the satirical and entirely subversive shenanigans of Jennifer F. Knight for Gonzo Today
December 2016, Colorado, U.S.
The KDOG or “Keep Dogs Off Grass” Society is claiming ultimate responsibility for a latter-day prankster sort of movement that is rumored to have sprung upward from some deep, dark battalion within the Alt-Right’s Reactive Pet Resistance Party exactly one calendar day after Donald J. Trump was elected 45th President of the United States.
This subversive group of modern-day canine tricksters seems to have buried grassroots bones in Colorado, California, Nevada, Oregon, Maine, Massachusetts, Alaska, Washington, and the District of Columbia. The national KDOG Movement also appears to have strong underground ties to a couple of highly regarded mock or spoof religious organizations, namely the Order of the Dude (Pavlovian Dogs) and the Discordian Society (Manchurian Dogs), along with some relatively loose connections to the not-currently-active Fourth Amendment Foundation (Sleeping Dogs). And although these statements have not yet been substantiated by Gonzo Today, we believe them to be factual… for the most part.
Based upon a strong desire to embrace chaos and go with the flow amid an enormous hodge-podge of human hysteria post-election, it is rumored that the Centers for Canine Disease Control became deeply involved with the efforts of the burgeoning KDOG Society almost immediately. These rumors are false. The KDOG Movement is in no way associated with the Centers for Canine Disease Control. The C4CDC, recently de-popularized due to a sinister CT Scan Conspiracy, holds a strong desire for redemption via positive public relations after being accused by alternative media of Chipping and Tagging sick animals (canine and feline alike) and then giving the animals away to broken homes for an Orwellian sort of research program designed to spy on the poverty-stricken humans who adopted them.
“The KDOG Society abhors such behavior. It’s unspeakable… deplorable. We want no part of it. In fact, the C4CDC should be dissolved in its entirety as an organization, post haste.”
Your colorful Colorado correspondent retrieved several profound quotes from a small group of anonymous KDOG protestors during a rally held in Denver this past November right after the Movement’s initial uprising. There were at least 42 dog-mask wearing humans in black hooded sweatshirts marked with the KDOG Society logo marching on the Capitol that Saturday afternoon. And a small subset of those protestors donned German Shepard masks with black hoodies that simply read “JOURNALIST” in white block letters – these pen wielding pranksters (Watch Dogs) carried Alt-Right brand dog whistles in both hands, circling the pack of protestors with eyes and ears fixed mostly on police officers who were standing in strategic pairs, two-by-two, with arms folded in a veritable wall of disdain for the dogs and humans (and journalists) in participation. There were no arrests, just a lot of growling and a few aggressive snares.
“Give Weed a Chance” and “No Hope for Dogs on Dope! Keep Dogs Off Grass!” were the most prominent of protest signs in play that day.
People sometimes assume, because the obvious mission of the KDOG Society is to keep dogs off grass, this group means to somehow stand against the usage of cannabis or marijuana by canines, to include non-psychoactive CBD biscuits. This is a common misconception. In fact, not only does the KDOG Society believe hemp and any natural derivatives thereof should almost always be shared with domestic canines, they encourage and applaud such forward-thinking behavior by responsible adult pet owners in legalized states.
Unity and messaging are sometimes problematic within any fledgling society, especially during its first protest. A more unified message may have been delivered by holding signs that read “Keep [your] Dogs Off [our] Grass.”
During an interview with one KDOG protestor, there were claims that a former narcotics officer turned anti-drug-war activist by the name of Barry Cooper may or may not have been somehow involved with the recent launch of the national KDOG Movement. Barry was unavailable for comment, and a quick visit to his website (nevergetbusted.com) turned up no obvious connections to the group, but the website certainly warrants further investigation (reasonable suspicion).
Postscript: After a draft version of this story was somehow leaked to the Centers for Canine Disease Control, and in an apparent attempt at retaliation against Gonzo Today and the fully-regulated marijuana industry which spawned the publication, the C4CDC unleashed the following statement on Monday: “Communities across America are in a nightmare from canine crimes and the rampant marijuana usage being perpetrated by domestic dogs in some legalized states. The crime rate and dog trafficking cartel organizations have soared. 23% of all canine students in obedience training classes are doping while veterinary resources are being absolutely depleted by pot related emergencies. Drugged newborn puppies with Hemphysema are spreading a contagious new strain of kennel cough at an alarming rate. We are at a crisis point! Canine disease is at an all-time high because our dogs are on dope and their puppies are on pot.”
Some people will never learn.
Neither your colorful Colorado correspondent nor Gonzo Today has any comment on the C4CDC statement, because the thing itself speaks.
Jennifer F. Knight (http://bathtubjenn.com) is a Colorado-based gonzo journalist, podcaster, and part-time editorial consultant. She studied Rhetoric & Writing at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs (for approximately 90 days) where she inadvertently became hooked on literature, music, comedy, weed, freedom and the American dream. Jennifer is also an ordained Dudeist priest. Knight can be reached by talk, text, email, or astral projection. She prefers astral projection.