by Carmit Bat-Shalom
Sacred smoke to fill the well
of despair
I get smoking, the need to feel the boundary
of my lungs and know
the pit is not endless
The way I can mitigate how deeply
to inhale and the rate
at which emotions will rise
or numbly wait their turn
To breathe all the way through
is overwhelming what if there is no end
to the sadness and the loss?
Sage-so wisely named
just touches the boundaries with a gentle wisp
so I can see and be consoled
“there is an end to this” it says
“there is a limit”
“You don’t have to endure more than you can”
But what if I want the limitless?
What if joy and love and fulfillment
are all about endlessness?
Will the pain follow me
like a faithful dog
all the way?
And even if it couldn’t
can I just abandon my companion
at the edge of sadness as I
cross over into joy?