GonzoToday

Gonzo Today

Other Voices & Outside Sources

My Attorney is Nearly Pinched in a Prostitution Sting after the MLB All-Star Game

by Anthony Varriano

On the third and final day of our 2014 MLB All-Star Game vacation, I awoke to my attorney walking through the door carrying two Burger King bags. “You want chicken or beef?” he asked. I took the chicken, and we washed it all down with Coke and cocaine. Our tolerance was back, so we were partying like the elderly – on the verge of death every second. Yeah, the days of puking on movie theater bathroom floors were behind us.

This blog was originally published at Go Gonzo Journal. Continue reading

Pound for Pound: Weighing in on America’s Fat Epidemic

By: Ernie Hurt

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I can almost taste the giblet gravy and smell the homemade bread. Sweet pumpkin pies with endless Kool-Whip, and the anticipation of a 6 o’clock nap make drool form on the corners of my lips. As with most holidays in my home growing up, a feast was sure to ensue and id ingest about eight thousand calories in one day. But as most of you will agree, it’s OK! Its Thanksgiving!

The morning after Ill curse myself for the stomach pains and indigestion…. Some of you may know but in case you have no idea who I am, I will tell you I am a bigger guy. Always have been. I wore the same size pants as my father when I entered kindergarten. In high school I weighed 366lbs but not in the athletic linebacker way.

I took quite a bit of shit in school for my size but nowadays it doesn’t bother me at all to be the “big” guy. I’ve accepted it, as has 62% of the developed world. The word “Obesity” conjures many images, mainly of large people on handicap scooters , humming down the local Wal-Mart isles, or the shut-in’s on the Maury Show that couldn’t gnaw their way out of their own homes. Yes these may be extreme cases, but it seems to be the newest water mark in the obesity epidemic.
There are many possible theories and misguided truths when you talk about overweight people. Could be psychological, could be economic status, could be ethnicity or could just be plain stupidity…and not stupid as in not being able to do math problems but ignorance to the fact America and many industrial countries are being turned into large grazing fields for plump, docile cows.

Science will tell you man has always felt the need to gorge himself on great tasting things. Early man stuffed himself full at every avail because it was hard to come by and you had to literally “work your ass off” to get it. Now this worked perfectly fine for thousands of years, with few fatties in the gene pool. With the industrial revolution and evolving times, man has more leisure time on his hand than ever before. If you think about it, this leisure time would have been spent walking miles or fighting off terrible beasts but now it’s spent eating prepackaged food in front of your T.V. or other electronic devices sucking up radiation and oozing poison.

So much work and engineering has gone into watering down foods, mainly for profit of the company, with cheap fillers and preservatives. As anyone at all familiar with business will tell you, more shit to sell usually nets a lower cost. Statistics will tell you higher obesity rates can be found in poor, sometimes urban areas. Places where every penny must be counted in order to keep your head above water. The middle and lower class’s tend to spend on more unhealthy foods, foods that will go farther and impose less strain on the pocket book. Not to mention the terrible, gang ridden neighborhoods that a lot of poverty stricken families are forced to live. Who wants to jog when you could get stabbed in the collar bone and left for dead in front of a seedy convenience store?
West Virginia and Mississippi officially tie for the title of fattest state. Not surprising considering the Mid-Southern U.S has been dubbed the “Diabetes Belt” for decades; the home of Soul Food and anything that can be battered and fried. The South holds on to old world views regarding food. Their great granddads ate the same unhealthy meals they enjoy every Sunday. Despite recent efforts to control the “epidemic” by government and Michele Obama herself, the rate grows every year. After all its going to take a lot of work to stop something that has been passed down several generations.

Six or seven generations ago people couldn’t give a shit less about healthy foods and most couldn’t even read, yet many Americans still follow their little favorite recipes, like the one for Paw Paws Five Fat Chili. Even on a broader scale, baby boomers have the highest rates of obesity. Not only do they not have the energy to burn the shit off, they don’t have the knowledge that is so widely available in modern times. They usually eat what they like and have liked for years. Southern Americans are not the only people stuck in olden times when it comes to food. It’s widely believed in Latino cultures that a fat baby is a healthy baby. In the South Pacific islands, being larger in stature has been linked to health, beauty and status for centuries, leaving many descendants to see it the same way. The only place on the globe not affected by obesity in the Sub Sahara Africa, either it’s too damn hot to eat or they still have their heads screwed on right- or they are dying of starvation.
I may come off as a self-hating fat guy, but that’s truly not the case. While I’m not in fit condition, what gives me the right to bad mouth someone’s size. After all, it could genuinely not be their fought. Shit genetics’, Illness or hormonal problems may be working some heinous magic, forcing these people to pack on fat they don’t want.

Weight even comes down to ethnic background as well. African Americans have the highest percentage of overweight people, followed my Latino’s and Native Americans. All these factors compiled cost our country more than two trillion dollars a year. That’s more than alcohol and almost as much as tobacco related Illnesses. Another source I ran across claimed there are more people are overweight and obese in the world than those who are malnourished. That’s a really heavy thought considering how many “Save The Children” infomercials I’ve seen in my life.

Will our world ever see what’s really going on with our bodies? Why does healthier food have to cost so much more than its cookie cutter counterpart? Why does every expert claim his/her own personal diet is the best for you to lose weight? Why are there 200 different weight supplements on the counter of ever gas station? So many Americans are unhappy with their weight, yet throw a sugar driven fit when politics try to step in and say “Hey No more 64oz buckets of pop. Some trash talk fast food, all the while shoveling Cheetos down their throats. Others will tell you they don’t have time, but insist on showing you their newest WoW achievements.

 

Studies are now being released that say our that over half of the world population will be obese by 2030, which may be hard for some of you to swallow but for others it should go down easy enough….

 

Master Mystery:The Magic Show of Life Itself

By: JeroenMelis

Greetings Gonzo readers,

I’ve decided to contributed this to this site by writing down a story based on some life experience of myself. To give form and making reading easier, I will use one post which I will update twice weekly.
So this story will grow every week and I don’t know when it will be finished.

I hope you enjoy reading. Continue reading

“GONZO TAPES- In Search of the American Dream”

Hunter S. Thompson & Oscar Zeta Acosta

“Fear & Loathing in America”

Dramatized Audio by AudioGonzo

 

“He Was A Crook”

Dramatized Audio by AudioGonzo

Community, Hicks and Ode to the Death of Love

By: Ernie Hurt

Standing in my bathroom on this cold Ohio morning, pissing away the filth in my system, watching my neighbors frolic in the sub-freezing temperatures… Maybe they are as nuts as I am, perhaps in other ways, but crazy none the less.. I’ve lived on this hill for the better part of two months.

I have yet to talk to any of my neighbors, nor have they attempted to welcome me into the community. This isn’t the first time my family has been viewed as a colony of leapers… Could it be my large stature? Could it be the wealth of art ingrained on my skin? It’s clear to see that I’m not entirely at fault, as I have waved and smiled like society has taught me to do. Continue reading

Debt, Junkies and the American Dream

By: Ernie Hurt

With the civil unrest in Missouri, Numerous Veterans without proper medical care and the memories still lingering from our country’s recent recession, you really have to ponder and search in your heart when confronted with term “The American Dream”. It is not tossed around as often as it once was, perhaps because today’s generation sees everything suited to the individual, and not as a whole.

The future holds the demise of the once dreamed perfect world of white picket fences and happy kids with crew cuts and first string slots on the local football team. I mean if you approach the term from a modern new age train of thought, the American Dream is all a based on perspective. Continue reading

Summer Time Blues

By: Katie Callen

It was the summer.

Hot, unforgiving, steam ridden misery; the kind that makes you want lay naked in the kiddy pool out in the yard and slamming back cold beers while popping meds to dull the sense of feeling.

No need for the hard stuff, I said to myself, this will only make things worse.

But this uneasy unrest… this wild feeling won’t leave my brain.

The amount of weed I ingested trying to fight the urge to do this most unneeded demon wasn’t working. What is to come of the day?

Where will I go? Who will go with me?

You need a copilot for this shit. Without one you will become lost. But lost lost is what I seem to be any way, so why worry? But in this mad world I will need someone.

The massive conundrum is that I have no idea where I am in this strange town, in the middle of all these winding red dirt roads, with only stop signs, and no fucking map to tell me where I am.

I must seek out locals to guide me down this sick and twisted fate which lies ahead for the day if I am going to survive to tell the tale that is soon to unveil itself to me. Continue reading

Thirty-Five Years down the Rabbit Hole of Music

By: Ernie Hurt

As you read in my last entry regarding music, you can tell I reserve a fair level of distain for modern music. I’m not alone, and I find a shade of solace in that fact.

My music taste lean towards only a small hand full of current working artist’s. Mostly I listen to music from an era some 35 years ago. It could be due to the fact that most new music sounds like a cage full of horny Tom cats in mid coitus, or perhaps I grew up hearing the greats of that long forgotten time.

At the prodding from a colleague I decided to search and listen to the top selling album from 1969 and its modern day counterpart from this foul year of Oure Lorde ,Two Thousand and Fourteen.

What would be the differences? Would they be vast and profound? Would I automatically fall into a brain bleeding seizure while listening to an entire cd of”Pop” songs? Continue reading

Public mutilation.

Black monday 17.11.2014
sensuur 3Today I received a message from a Facebook friend, a dutch painter.

To make this article easier to read I will call him John.
Because he doesn’t want to get into trouble by using his own name.

He’s certainly not paranoid, but It might have been Facebook’s penis recognition software.

John told me that Facebook censored his last work because some people complained about the contents. Facebook reacted with a warning and some lame ass arguments. Continue reading